Self-confidence is a ”quality” I wish I was born with. As an introvert, I’ve always envied those around me who dared to act and speak confidently.
I’m convinced that a big part of it comes from the environment who grew up. How can you know something you’ve never witnessed? Luckily, with time and experiences, I have developed a good dose of it and I’m happy to now share some exercises with you that are easy to implement to your holistic wellness journey.
If you feel stuck, if you have dreams, but you feel unworthy to even think about them because of your low-self-confidence, read on!
Why self-confidence is important?
Based on my own experience, observations (and my current struggles), self-confidence is the key to success, in whatever you want to achieve. Basically, it makes your life easier. You stop worrying about what others may think of you, because you know what YOU want and what you need.
I now see low-self-esteem with not knowing who we are, what we like and what we want in life. And of course, unless you live in a cave, live should naturally bring some answers to you.
When you are aware of your lack of self-confidence, you can actively start to build it.
Is self-confidence a skill?
Self-confidence it’s like a muscle you need to train regularly. Even daily.
I have a personal example to share to back-up my argument.
I have always disliked calling people, and always asked my mom to book appointments for me. It didn’t help much to surpass this fear so when I ended up working in a call center, I had no other choice but to go over that fear.
Funny thing is that I don’t remember any trauma. It was my job and the phone rang all day long. I got used to it. So used to it that I remembered calling people to book appointments, in German!
However, and this should be in capital letter, as soon as I found another job and stopped answering the phone daily, my confidence to speak on the phone slowly disappeared.
What a pity.
How to overcome your fear and build your self-confidence
”You gotta work-work-work!” (sorry, but I had to). Practice is key and that’s why I’m convinced that everyone can get more self-confident. Of course, we don’t start with the same ”natural” abilities, but it’s not an excuse, in any case, to never get started.
Indeed,sSelf-esteem can be developed through different ways and I believe that self-love is path of many.
Self-esteem and self-confidence: 2 terms with different meanings
Self-esteem is the belief in our own worth. The opinion we have about ourselves, how we perceive and evaluate ourselves. The key-word is perception.
Self-confidence however can be defined as knowing our ability to face an issue or a situation. It’s based on our inner strengths, resources and past experiences.
So I have good news for you my friend: your self-confidence depends … on you 😉 It’s your responsibility.
And last but not least, taking control of your self-confidence, you can take (back) control of your life.
If you want to built or increase your self-confidence, you have to work on it. See it as a project or a personal challenge. A valuable tool that will bring great changes in your life.
I have listed below the tricks that have worked for me, so it’s not a comprehensive one. And because self-confidence would be nothing without a holistic approach, I gathered activities related to the body, the mind, and the spirit.
Exercise regularly
This one could be in any lists related to wellness and wellbeing. It’s an easy one 😉 Beside being proud of yourself having left your sofa, regular exercise will boost your confidence, and release dopamine hormones that will make you feel just goooooood.
Dress up to feel fabulous
Brush your hair and put some make-up on; if you feel like it – even if you stay home. Use makeup not to hide what you don’t like about yourself, but the contrary: highlight what you like the most (don’t say ”nothing”, I hear you). Put on some mascara, or brush your eyebrow to hightlight your eyes.
Wear your favorite clothes and the next pieces you will buy, make sure you feel great in them.
Watch-out your posture
Walk tall, sit straight, and take the space you deserve. Stop crossing your legs and your arms, be open and make people around you feel welcome to share your space and company.
Put a smile on your face
It’s one of the simplest things to do, but so many of us tend to forget about the power of a smile. It send a very positive message to your brain, whether it’s faked or real. Try it right now if you don’t believe me 😉
Bonus: it has a long lasting repel effect on people you will encounter. How beautiful is that?
Positive thoughts
Remember the body-mind-spirit connection. To act confident, think confident. If you need some inspiration, consider someone you admire and respect. Then, in certain situation, ask yourself how this person would think.
Our thoughts create our reality. They are the glasses we perceive our reality through. As far as I know, there are more benefits to thinking in a positive way than in a negative one.
Of course, some events hit us the hard way, but a same event can be perceived differently by different persons. The choice is ours in the end.
Positive affirmations
This one is slightly different than watching out every single thought we have. Positive affirmations work with repetition. However, repetition is nothing without the emotions triggered.
You may want to close your eyes in the beginning, either in the morning or in the evening, list 6 to 8 positive affirmations and repeat this exercise for at least 21 days.
Take actions
The enemy of action is … inaction, right. Inaction leaves plenty of space for doubts and fears to colonize your mind and make you give up anything you set yourself up to. Don’t let that happen. Whenever you feel fear or doubt, it’s the signal you need to know you’re on the right path. Don’t stop and keep moving.
Practice self-discipline
One thing I like about my monthly challenges is that they make me feel good about myself when I show up.
It doesn’t have to be a big challenge involving a big change in your life of course. Even a small one can make you feel great, like waking up 10 minutes earlier, flossing every evening, or doing 5 push-ups every day.
Every time you show yourself disciplined, imagine a crowd applauding you, yourself included.
Do something you keep postponing
Here as well, it can be something small, depending on your to-do list.
I don’t know about you, but doing my tax return is one of the things that terrifies me the most. And every year, once it’s done, I feel AWESOME, as if I ran a marathon. Pretty amazing right?
It can also be: changing a light bulb, taking the glass to the recycling bin, or sew a hole in your sock. Something that you keep repeating to yourself you should/have to/need to do.
Practice gratitude
It’s easy to feel discouraged when we look at our current situation and compare it with where we want to be. However, we also overlook things we already have; things that we once wished to have and that we now consider as normal.
”When you are grateful, fear disappears and abundance appears.”
Tony Robbins
Reflect on your past successes
I love delving into my journals and notebooks to remind myself of my past challenges and successes! I often feel compassion for my old, naive, inexperienced and me, who was definitely lacking of self-confidence!
Be a front seater
This piece of advice comes from the book ”The Magic of Thinking Big” written by Dr. David J. Schwartz. Show people that you are here, be noticed, and feel good about it.
From my personal experience, it makes me feel important, maybe only because I know I didn’t sit at the front by accident, but challenged myself and succeeded! You can hit many birds with that same stone 😉
Look into the mirror
But don’t judge yourself! This is an advanced exercise but if you commit to doing it daily, even for 5 minutes, it will bring significant changes in your life and how you perceive yourself. Your self-esteem will surely get a boost from it.
Dance
Connect with your body. It’s time to make peace with it and love it for what it is: the temple of your beautiful soul. The idea is to have fun! Why are we so serious? No one is watching you. Turn the music on and move that body!
My self-confident exercises for you
I leave you with a little gift 🙂 Pick one item of the list everyday and try it out for yourself.
You can start with any, but if you want to play the game (and increase your self-confidence), do them all when applicable. Keep a diary and reflect on how you felt before, during and after. How was the result compared with your initial thought?
If you keep this exercice in a journal, it will also serve as a reference for your future self. I love hitting two birds with one stone! 🙂
Remember that you are capable of much more than what you think.
Take care :*
